


Clarity

by pomegrenadier



Series: Structural Integrity [20]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Angst, Gen, Introspection, Light-Side Jaesa Willsaam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 09:28:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11780274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pomegrenadier/pseuds/pomegrenadier
Summary: Jaesa realizes what she's signed up for.





	Clarity

**Author's Note:**

> Set right after the mission to kill General Karastace Gonn, at the start of SW Chapter 2. Which is to say, the first official mission Jaesa can go on as the Warrior's apprentice.

". . . You didn't tell him about the Jedi Master," says Jaesa.  
  
Evren looks down. "It could have implicated Fawste."  
  
"And you trust Fawste to not betray you the way he betrayed the Empire _and_ General Gonn."  
  
"I trust him to want to stay alive, at least."  
  
Jaesa nods slowly. "And when Baras discovers Mas—the Jedi's location?"  
  
"I'll listen attentively and go where I'm told," Evren says with a tiny, crooked smile.  
  
"What if he finds out you already knew?"  
  
The smile fractures and fades.  
  
Jaesa's throat tightens as a fresh wave of something like grief crashes over her. So much fear. So many lies. Tangled, bloody, wretched lies, and a truth that could get them all killed. All because Evren spared one life.  
  
"It's never going to end, is it," Jaesa says, her voice shamefully thin.  
  
Evren laughs once, short and harsh and unhappy, and drags a hand down his face. "No. It never ends."  
  
He doesn't tell her that it gets easier. He doesn't _lie_. And for that, she is thankful. Jaesa takes a breath to steady herself. "Then we'll have to end it ourselves," she says, with a confidence she wishes she felt.  
  
Evren looks at her, and for a moment she thinks he might believe her. Then his near-painfully admiring expression cracks, and _concern_ bleeds through. "Jaesa . . . you don't have to stay," he says softly.  
  
Yes, she does. It's the first choice she ever made that truly meant something, and she can't just—she can't.  
  
Even though, as she's discovering, kindness is not enough. She should have—but she didn't, she made this choice, and she will either live with the consequences, or she won't live at all.  
  
"I want to stay," says Jaesa.  
  
He believes her this time.

**o.O.o**

_end_


End file.
